The Transportation Security Administration is "Zip Lock Fresh" and they don't even know it. Yep. They are sitting on the next HOT advertising vehicle. I can see millions of dollars pouring into the US Government. Perhaps a whole advertising department and media division. Could you imagine that? Hip cool folks, who wear black coats and pants and matching square framed glasses, punching in for a little government paycheck love. Zip Lock Fresh, baby.
So what is this cool new idea? Don't be so darn impatient. We must first disclose where the idea came from, as it clearly could not have come from my pea brain. The source of this brilliance comes from my good friend who calls his place of work "The Outpost". He runs a ceramic tile warehouse for a major manufacturer in the United States. But what he really should be doing is wearing an all black outfit with square framed glasses while thinking of the next great advertising idea. I won't reveal his name though - he is my trade secret. What I will tell you though, is to never let him tend your bar at a Christmas Party unless your guests have a thick skin. Regardless, it is safe to say that this guy's brain is so funny and so innovative that it is a darn shame he is being asked to use it for insulting contractors and builders....although I would pay $100 bucks just to sit around for a day and watch him do it.
So, back to the idea. Everyday we heard ourselves like mindless cattle through the airport security lines. The taped TSA message plays in a loop like some sort of hypnotic cadence. You plop your laptop out, take off your shoes, empty your pockets and pull out your clear plastic bag of toiletry goodies. A-HA! It is here that the new bounty lies! According to TSA, you are allowed to fill a "one quart zip top bag" with your beauty goodies. Cha-Ching! And every time you pull that baby out at least 5 drone bees behind you stare at in and wonder, "what funny stuff can I spot in his bag?"
All the government has to do now is sell space on those bags. Perhaps make a special plastic bin that it can sit in to ensure it is set apart and easy to view by security. But you may be saying, the rule states it must be a "clear plastic bag" buddy. Ya, I know, but how about 95% clear and 5% semi-transparent? Perhaps company logo's in the upper right hand corner? I can see the green Starbucks lady smiling back at me while I watch the schmuck in front of me pull out his clear plastic bag of goo and junk that he uses to repel his smell and messy hair. Or, perhaps pull tags for the zipper in the shape of a business card that have your favorite NFL team logo on it? Show me the money!
How about creating a TSA approved clear plastic "pouch" bag. It could have specially designed areas for key products such as deodorant, toothpaste and hair gel or spray. Perhaps designed for specific products made by Proctor and Gamble? Now we can proudly see the Crest or Herbal Essences logo as it sits pressed against the plastic bag. Ah yes, the art of paid product placement has evolved!
Well, maybe "The Outpost" needs to kick this one around a bit more, but I think he is on to something folks. Oh, and I am now his acting talent agent, so if you want to use the "Outpost Think Tank" just give me a shout. One hour sessions run $300 an hour. If you ask him to tend bar it goes up to $500....but you bring your own poison.